remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
