Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize