By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If that was your dad, he is hot
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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