I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Congratulations! We have a period
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