Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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