I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
