I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
