im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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