Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we're making bets on your personal life
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
