Where did you get a picture of my penis
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
