what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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