I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
