I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
