the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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