brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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