She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you win again, gameday.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
