the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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