watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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