I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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