My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
