So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All I want is dick and wine.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
