you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
