I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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