i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
