I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
