oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
