We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
