I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize
