IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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