I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
