whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
