He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
ttyl tear gas
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
