You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
