my mouth tastes like poor choices
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry my hands just texted you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Who died my cat blue again?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
