Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
