just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
