I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize