O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
