I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
