So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
