I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
