I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
