I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
