oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
