i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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