were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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