Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm getting married
To pizza
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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