I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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