Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
