Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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