she takes plan B like it's going out of style
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
