what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
