I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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