please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
