He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, beer. Big fan.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
