your room smells of hookers.
And success
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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