Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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