I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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