let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
