I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
bring money and cleavage
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
