my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize