ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize