sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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