I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
