Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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